I believe I remember a bible verse from my childhood that talks about how when you ask for forgiveness Jesus washes away your sins & makes you white as snow.

Actually, come to think of it, I think the snow part was Mary had a Little Lamb.

Well, I’m sure the message is still the same.

This morning was like too many mornings lately. I had a super short fuse with the girls. I start off good & patient but as the clock keeps ticking closer to the time when we need to get out the door for school, they keep dumping hair clips on the floor, messing around & basically being cute adorable baby girls who are driving me crazy. I end up snapping at them & then they start fighting, then we’re late & I find myself yelling at them to stop. I’m just worried that they’re going to grow up & look back at their childhood remembering me as being short-tempered. “Don’t piss off mom, she’ll freak out on you!” I want them to remember me as a patient, slow to anger, sweet & loving mother. I’m worried I’m not on that path right now.

Today my prayer is that God will change my natural fleshly inclinations to yell & snap. That might be the way that my brain is wired, perhaps I’m a little genetically predisposed, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change.

I pray that God changes me into the type of mom I want my girls to remember me as.

By the time we got to school I had some time to calm down & put things in perspective. I also had enough time for mommy guilt to set in.

When I was unbuckling Sam from her carseat I looked her in the eye & said, “I’m sorry Mommy yelled at you this morning. I’m sorry that I get mad sometimes. Will you forgive me?” As soon as I said that I thought to myself do 3 year olds even know what forgiveness means? But no sooner did she give me an eager “Uh-huh!” & the biggest hug with her arms tight around neck.

How natural it comes to her to forgive. Children desperately want to believe the best in their parents & if you throw them the tiniest bone of “hey I’ll be better” they’ll jump at it! That’s all they want. To believe the best in their mommies & daddies.

I’m going to try and give her that.

She believes in me, that’s the least I can do.

I would give anything to have been recording video just before this happened, it would’ve gone crazy viral, I’m sure of it.

Just before this picture was snapped my girls & a handful of other kids were happily walking through the goat pen at the petting zoo. There were sweet baby goats & all of the children were gathering around feeding them. It was lovely. In slow motion I saw this crazy heffer goat work her way into the group of kids without them noticing & then, with impeccable timing, she reached her neck out, stuck out her tongue & let out the loudest “maaaaahhhhh!!” I’ve ever heard! The kids all went running in different directions screaming their heads off & that darn goat just kept egging them on. If the utter chaos wasn’t so darn funny maybe I’d have been a little more defensive but this was just priceless.

Before what shall from here on be known as ‘the incident’ we were having a pretty awesome time. If you’re in the Maryland area I highly recommend Green Meadows Farm. Just check their website first to make sure they’re open…

And I thought I had my hands full. Who ever knew being turned into bacon would be such a relief. (JOKE people, it’s a JOKE)

Sam is a natural with animals.

Sophie tends to wrap her hands around their necks. The look on that little guy’s face says it all.

She & donkeys however seem to have an understanding.

I understood that I know want a baby cow. BAD.

HOW many gallons come out there? Holy lactating bovine batman.

I consider myself a pretty well informed individual when it comes to animals. I have to admit though I have no clue what that is.

It was a good day.

(heart bowl from Valentine’s collection at Target)

P loves lettuce wraps.

The other night he had a really rough day & had to work late, I was stuck with reconfiguring leftovers anyway so I found a way to make lettuce wraps & texted him a pic showing him what was waiting for him.

I’m ultra wife of the year, right? Here’s a little secret…I’ve been craving lettuce wraps since I picked up some peanut sauce at the grocery store last week. But as far as you know it was a completely selfless gesture, got it?

Lettuce Wraps of Love

• 1 package of bibb lettuce, leaves cut off, rinsed & patted dry
• Peanut Sauce- asian cuisine aisle, use a good drizzle, about 3 tbs
• Chili Garlic Sauce- also in asian cuisine aisle, I used about 2 tbs so give it some kick
• Juice from 1 lime
• Soy Sauce- drizzle if needed but taste first because this dish easily becomes overly salty
• Meat du joir- I had some left over fajita steak so I chopped that up & combined it with cubes of extra firm tofu
• Scallion- 1tbs, chopped
• Cilantro- t tbs, chopped
• Garlic- 1 clove, minced
• Bean Sprouts (optional)

In a skillet, over medium heat add your garlic to about 1 tbs of olive oil. After it begins to soften (around 2 minutes) add your meat, cilantro, scallions & sauces. Stir until heated through & glaze begins to form. Finish with a squeeze of fresh lime. Serve roll-it-yourself style with bean sprouts on top for an extra crunch. Use extra peanut sauce drizzled on top of individual wraps if desired.

Lately Sam’s dress up has become very specific. When she dresses like Sleeping Beauty her hair must be down, when she’s Belle it’s a low ponytail. Tiana however proved to be a little tougher to crack. How does she get that perfect bouffant right smack on top of her head anyway? A simple bun is way too puny, Tiana has a full on pouf that no little girl’s natural hair could acheive. Don’t let the fact that she’s animated put you off, with about 5 minutes & a wayward sock you can perfect her hairstyle too. Cat’s out of the bag Tiana.

I’m actually wearing a sock bun in the video as well, the instructions for a grown up version are the exact same except with a grown up sock. Preferably one that matches your hair color. Also, if you put your hair up while it’s damp you’ll end up with really pretty curls at the end of the day! My new favorite hairstyle by far…very boho chic.

(ruffle dress I made from this post)

*Pinbusters is a new series where I take those favorite, popular pins & see if they really work as great as they look…

I saw the idea for soaking gummie bears in either tequila or vodka awhile back on Pinterest and have been wondering two things…

1- Do these little bears pack some punch? I’ve heard of people getting completely smashed because they didn’t realize each gummie was like taking a shot. Could that really be true?

2- How do they taste. If it tastes like rubbing alcohol then what’s the point?

I placed a pack of regular drugstore gummie bears in a tupperware & filled it with enough vodka (Absolut) to cover the gummies & popped them in the fridge. (OBVIOUSLY if you have children you need to stick these somewhere that they won’t be able to get to. They’re eye-catching candy, be responsible) After about a week I tried one & my reaction looked something like Sophie’s the first time she took a giant bite of a pickle. Ugh! I could’ve easily breathed fire. While I thought it was neat that they had plumped up quite a bit the taste was terrible. Pure vodka. Before deeming this pin ‘busted’ I thought I’d give the little suckers some more time to marinade.

On week two my friend Stacy & I decided a late afternoon playdate was a completely acceptable time to try out the bears. This was an experiment after all. Although still strong they were much improved, & fat as ever. What really surprised me though was how powerful they were! Honestly, if you ate 2 or 3 that were on a martini skewer in your drink you’d be toast. Like, super fun girl who giggles a lot.

And they weren’t terrible anymore. Don’t get me wrong, they absolutely taste alcoholic but they’re good too! Kind of like the fruit that’s been sitting in the bottom of your sangria…yummy but potent as hell.

Overall I’d say vodka soaked gummie bears are…

And just an update…after 3 weeks they’re even better. They have disintegrated a bit & tend to fall right off the skewer but who can blame them, if you’d been sitting in a vodka bath for 3 weeks your insides would melt too.

The martini I made to go with the gummies is made with watermelon vodka & watermelon liqueur. I used 2 parts vodka to 1 part liqueur & a splash of water. It was also strong as hell, I’ll have to tweak that a bit. The gummies are strong enough that a tamer drink would be more complimentary. Know of any good recipes?

*Have an idea for Pinbusters? Leave a comment below!

This morning I went in to Sam’s class to make these polymer clay charms for the kid’s to give their mom’s on Mother’s Day. It wouldn’t be a bad idea for Grandma gifts either & it’s a relatively quick craft.

I gave each child about a 3/4″ square of polymer clay & showed them how to roll it into a ball. Then they used the palm of their hand to smoosh the ball into a coin shape that’s around 1/4″ thick. (the boys liked that part) I took each of the their thumbs & pressed them into the clay coin to make a heart imprint. (if you press their right thumb on the left & the left thumb on the right they’ll cross into a nice heart print)

Next I stuck an eye pin (easily found nowadays in the jewelry making aisle of your local craft store) down into the top of the coin making it a pendant. While the kids ate lunch I baked the pendants in a glass baking dish at 250 degrees for around 15 minutes. (follow your clay’s specific instructions, I used Sculpey brand)

Once they were cool I called each child over & had them write their name (or initial if they had a long name, it’s a bit of a small work area) in Sharpie on the back & I also wrote the year. Next I handed them a small tipped paintbrush with bit of red paint & had them fill in the heart imprint. I dipped the brush for them because if they glob on too much you won’t be able to see their fingerprint details. After they were dry I gave them a thin coat of clear glaze for protection. (I used Sculpey glaze in Satin)

String them on some cord or a chain & that’s it! A sweet keepsake for a sweet mommy.

What a week! Oh wait, what’s that? It’s only Monday? Poop.

It was actually an awesome weekend, just very go, go, go. P & I had a great date night on Friday. It consisted of cheese fondue, a bottle of champagne, 3 episodes of Whale Wars & a picnic on the livingroom floor. Perfection.

Here’s where I was this week when I wasn’t here, find something you like, sneak a peek & tell me what you think.

“Sam Hates Bob Costas“: An interview. I don’t think my 3 year old is going to be a part of the Bob Costas Fan Club anytime soon.

“Like a Kid in a Liquor Store“: my experience with taking Sam to buy booze.

“Raspberry Iced Tea Recipe“: you won’t believe how easy it is to make your own, and it’s oh so good.

“Natural Falsies“: My trick for natural looking, easy to apply false lashes.

“Which is Worse to Discover About Your Spouse?” A secret $20,000 debt or a one night affair??

“Little Katy Perry“, video below:

You know how I’ve been gradually lightening my hair so I could be Jlo blonde for summer?

While I’m still completely in love with the color the damage is starting to show. Even by lightening gradually the bleach is still brutal. Although for some reason my damaged hair holds a curl better, isn’t that weird?

One of the things I love about my hairdresser Andrea is that she never tries to sell me on expensive salon hair products that I don’t need. She’s always telling me not to waste my money. That’s why when she recommended I try Pureology Essential Repair Conditioner for my crunchy strands I didn’t even hesitate. I’ve followed her directions and used a nickel sized amount on my ends & around my bangs where the hair is the frizziest. I left the conditioner in throughout my shower while I shaved my legs, washed my face & drew pictures of penises on the steamy glass with my fingers. (Totally kidding! They were buttcheeks.)

You know what, she was absolutely right. I dried my hair like usual & could instantly tell a difference, so much softer my friends. SO much softer.

This stuff is heavy duty so you can’t really use it more than once a week or you’ll end up looking limp. You’ll be tempted to try to get it to work it’s magic but resist, it’s powers can only be used on a limited basis.

I bought mine at Red Door but I just found it here on Amazon for only $18, that’s almost half off!

*Pureology has no idea who I am and neither them nor Red Door have offered me any money or products for this review. Although I certainly wish they would! It is strictly my honest opinion.

I believe American Apparel used to carry a sweatshirt that looked like this. It featured a large red heart that ‘broke’ when you unzipped the hoodie. I love having a favorite, super soft go to hoodie for running to school in the morning or snuggling up in while blogging. With this heart hoodie I can do all that & still feel kind of quirky cute.

If you’ve never done freezer paper stenciling this would be a great first project. I used my Silhouette machine to cut a heart stencil out of freezer paper but you could easily cut a heart shape on your own. (just like I did for this dotted heart sweatshirt)

To attach freezer paper simply lay it shiny side down onto your fabric & run an iron (no steam!) on medium high heat over the paper. The waxy side will temporarily bond with your fabric giving you a great stencil for painting. I use Tulip brand fabric paints but you can find all sorts of fabric design mediums at any local craft store nowadays. Using a brush I dabbed red paint all inside the stencil, avoiding the actual zipper, until my heart was complete. (insert ‘Aw‘ here) Once your paint is dry just peel the paper off & run a hot iron back over the dried paint to heat-set the color. Wash it, wear it, whatever. It’s done!

*Freezer paper can be found in the same aisle in your grocery store as foil & plastic wrap

**Be careful not to lay the paint on too thick or you run the risk of it seeping underneath the freezer paper edges. It’s better to do two thin coats than one thick one that gets all messy, ruins your sweatshirt & leaves you pissed & cursing me.

***My sweatshirt is from the men’s section at American Apparel. I’m desperately in love with their super soft hoodies & the men’s ones are just cut slim enough to fit without being ‘fitted’. At first it bothered me that their men’s clothes fit me, then I realized that their male models, in their neon pink skivvies, are about the size of an underfed hyperactive 13 year old boy. It’s totally cool.

UPDATE: How stinking cute are these two?? Keely made the hearts onesies for her twin girls using the same technique, SUCH a great idea!!! Love Love Love this! Thanks for letting me share Keely (:

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately now a days we don’t always get to raise our children with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins all down the street. There aren’t 3 generations of women each helping the younger to get through the tough years with more than just imparting their wisdom.

When I was young my great-grandfather picked me up from school everyday. Then he, my great-grandmother & I would all make the 10 minute drive down the road to visit their daughter, my grandmother. My cousins lived a handful of blocks away from there & we’d walk to each other’s houses & play. All of the older, retired generations chipping in to take care of the younger. Everyday.

It’s sad on some levels that this isn’t the world my daughters are being raised in but it’s not necessarily worse, it’s just different. We’ve adapted to a life where we’ve had to move for my husband’s job & extended family aren’t the ones who are chipping in, babysitters are.

It’s a different world today where kid’s don’t always stick around home after school. It’s not uncommon to take a job across the country. Then you meet someone, start a family & before you know it you’re in my situation. A mother, doing her best at the toughest job she’ll ever have, on her own. Actually, I take that back. I’m not on my own & neither are you. If you’ve been reading this blog for any extended amount of time then you know it’s more than just a place on the internet to post pretty pictures. It’s a community. We might not have a sister down the street but we’ve managed to create something else…online. It’s a friendship between strangers who might never meet but are helping each other just the same.

It’s the way we’ve adapted so we can do more than just survive.

I can completely understand why some people don’t get why I blog about such personal issues in my life. I can see how it could come across as embarrassing but I ask you to look further. Don’t just read my words, read the comments that follow. ‘Mommy blogs’ aren’t just a place for bored housewives to vent…they’re powerful communities of women who have found a way to survive by relating & bonding to other women who are in their same shoes. The medium might seem unconventional, even unnatural, but the results can’t be disputed. We are making a difference by sharing.

I firmly believe in what I’m doing here on LPM. Yes I write about frilly stuff like crafts or put up silly videos but it’s the posts about marriage being hard or my struggle with post partum depression that I hold dear. With each of those posts I’ve had a fear right before hitting the ‘publish’ button but afterwards that anxiety was blown to bits by the overwhelming amount of comments, emails & social networking messages I receive that scream that other women feel the same way & my ‘putting it out there’ made them feel like they weren’t alone. Like they had a friend.

This isn’t just a blog. It’s a relationship between people. Hiding what’s really going on in our lives because of modesty or fear of judgement just precipitates the problem of women feeling not good enough & isolating themselves. I refuse to be afraid of what I’m writing. Last night I re-read my archives & I don’t think one word of it shows anything but love & devotion to every member of my dear sweet family.

At it’s core this blog is also a family, the purpose is love for other human beings. I don’t write about my life because I want to be snarky or a gossip, I write to share because I believe it makes a difference.