We all need grace.
We all fall short, despite our best intentions & if we’re lucky, although undeserved, the person we’ve wronged will choose to show us grace.
I’ve learned over the years that this is not my natural inclination. Often when I’m wronged, especially if it’s been by a man, I’ve felt an overwhelming need to stand up for myself. I think, “You can’t let him treat you this way, if you don’t punish them they’ll take advantage of you again.” It’s taken a long time, 33 years of life & 6 years of marriage to be exact, but a little light bulb has recently turned on in my head. I don’t need to act that way, perhaps if I choose to trust that person, to forgive & show grace then that gesture could benefit our relationship far more than standing my ground ever could.
I’ve been shown grace so many times in my life. For me the overwhelming example is the grace God shows me. I certainly don’t deserve it & yet he openly & generously forgives me time & time again. He doesn’t hold it over my head or make me work for it, he forgives as sweetly & generously as I would forgive my own child. In fact, that’s my favorite way to envision God, as a loving father.
I don’t know why I felt compelled to write about this today. Sometimes I feel like my blog has an identity crisis, one day I’m posting about how to make your own DIY maxi dress from used up Target bags (Haha, as if. Ok, maybe…not) & then the next I’m spilling my guts all over the page about forgiveness, mommy stress, or depression. I have this overwhelming urge to share sometimes, when those rare times happen that I actually have some clarity about how make this crazy life a little easier I just want to tell you. It’s also the same thing when I find an awesome new blush or fantastic sewing pattern, sometimes I just have to tell you. I suppose that’s what a blog is all about in the end. As mine grows though I sometimes think about censoring myself so I can fit a certain niche better. So my brand will be more marketable. You know what, that’s DUMB. It may not make me money as much but that’s not what I started this for, I may not have known it four years ago when Samster Mommy launched but I certainly know it now, my calling on here is to be a real person, a real mother, wife & woman & this is a place for real conversation. Sometimes it’s light & fruity & sometimes I want to make you think. Sometimes I just want to toss thoughts out there in hope that one person will read it & go, “Oh my gosh, that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I’m so glad I’m not alone.”
So my nugget for today is this, allow yourself to grow in grace. Both by giving it & receiving. Two things I’m trying to constantly work into my life this year are humility & generosity. Emotional generosity. We become jaded, selfish & just plain tired over the years & it’s easy to become stingy with apologies, forgiveness or trust. It’s not easy but I want to peel off some of those layers. I think learning to grow in grace will fit nicely into that plan. Now I just need you to remind of this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next… (: