I know you & I haven’t always seen eye to eye. When you first came to town I could not understand what people saw in you. You’re just so big, bulky & well, remind me of the reusable canvas grocery bags all the greenies at Whole Foods use. I’ve bought them, but that’s just because they had cute smiling tomatoes on them & I always forget them in my trunk anyway. But I digress, I didn’t get you & honestly, I still don’t.
After awhile however I started to see you on all my friends, & of course there’s that whole “buy a pair, give a pair” thing. I mean, how can I hate a such a philanthropist? So I tried you on, first the canvas peep toe wedges, they seemed like a nice compromise. But I was between sizes. Then I decided I could really use your grey slip-ons with the elephants on the inside for the summer. After all, who doesn’t like a good elephant motif? It took me months of convincing but I actually thought maybe we could finally work. Then I tried you on, I looked like someone had wrapped Ace bandages around me feet. Seriously? This is fashionable?? After that bad run-in I decided to put you down in my mental black book as just a fleeting trend that would be gone faster the resurgence of pleated pants.
But then I heard the news…you’ve married my friend Sketcher’s. That means you’re not going anywhere! And you’ll be in all of my regular places…Macy’s, Bloomies & even,*gasp* Nordstrom! You’re not just quietly sticking around either, oh noooo, I just got an email from Mr. Zappos that you have a new fall line out! Well isn’t that just dandy. An entire new collection of shoes I don’t like, which I guess is a good thing because they don’t even fit! Even when I tried to accept you, YOU denied me!
Whewwww, deep breaths.
Perhaps I’m holding onto a little more hostility than is healthy to feel towards a shoe.
That’s why I’m writing you Toms, I thought it would be healing to let you know how I feel.
Oh, & I also wanted to tell you that I just bought a pair of Hunter rain boots & we’re very happy together.
Best to you & yours,